~ Two weekends ago we took our huddle group to Hurricane Harbor. It was SO FUN to go to a water park without our own kids. Is that bad? However - staying up all night + eating junk for 2 days + riding in the church vans listening to the guys sing 100 bottles of beer on the wall (the entire way through) + getting home extremely late = a LONG recovery. Seriously. It took me a few days to bounce back. But I wouldn't have traded it. It was a great end to our second year with them. I can't believe they will be juniors!
~ This past weekend we went to McKinney/Allen/Dallas to visit James's side of the family and to check out my brothers new place. Also a very fun trip, but lots of time in the car. We went to celebrate James' step-dad's 60th birthday. His mom planned a really fun surprise dinner for him. We really had a lot of fun! We got to spend a lot of time up in McKinney as well. I'm pretty sure we were in the pool 90% of the time we were there. The kids loved it - and we did too! Thanks to all the grandparents for being so hospitable!
~ While we were in Allen, one of James's family members was outside smoking. Out of nowhere Kaitlyn just walks up to her and says, "You need to go to smokefree.com" That girl does not hold back.
~ Cora is as cute as ever, but the girl can throw some fits. She is very into saying "NO", and she all of a sudden decided to start being jealous of my time. If I am holding Claire or playing a game with Kaitlyn, she gets pretty upset. And by upset I mean biting and hitting. She has done so good for so long - but I guess the "middle child" is starting to show up a bit. I'm slowly figuring out how to handle her. Other things she likes... brushing her teeth, putting lotion on, putting on chapstick or lipgloss, carrying around bags or purses, putting the Connect Four pieces in their slots, looking at books, looking at herself in the mirror....
~ Kaitlyn also seems to be needing more attention lately. She rarely plays by herself. The two things I hear her say the most are: "I'm starving!" and "I'm bored." I try really hard to give her things to do, but I don't have all the time in the world. Any suggestions for this one would be greatly appreciated. She loves to write and try to spell words on her own. I love watching her do this. She is so smart. She really tries to read more and more as well. She is very proud of the gap in her mouth where she lost her tooth and will show anyone that will look. She starts swim lessons on Monday and is SO excited to do this again. This will probably be her last time for swim lessons - she is really becoming a good swimmer. Just growing up so fast!
~ Claire is about one week shy of 5 months old! That is crazy to me. She rolls and scoots everywhere. She spits up constantly - in large amounts. This is really getting annoying to me. I really wish we could make it stop. Kaitlyn or Cora never did this as much. She loves to kick her legs around in her bouncer. Actually, she only kicks her left leg - it's pretty funny to watch. She is starting to babble and talk a little bit more - saying da-da, na-na over and over. She smiles more, but is still the most serious of the three girls. She will almost always smile at her sisters though.
Okay, now for my part of the blog. Disclaimer: I am about to let it all out. This is not a cry for help with my kids, myself, a job, or anything else. I am not looking for comments. I'm just simply venting because I want to and this is my blog. Hopefully, I'll just look back on this time as a hard season of my life and later reflect on how I made it through.
I've just been in a rut! Every day seems longer than the one before it. Not quite sure why God chose me for the job. An almost 5 year old, 17 month old and 5 month old is harder now than I ever could have imagined. I know I could be such a better mom than I have been. I'm gaining weight by the day and I have no motivation to exercise or eat right. My face is completely broken out. I need some kind of a job, but don't know what and how I would even justify it. A part time job would be ideal, except for my check would go to daycare. Call me selfish, but I don't want to work full-time. We didn't have good experiences with Kaitlyn in full-time daycare, and I just don't want to walk down that road again. I'm not being a very good wife to James...bless his heart he has no idea what to make of me right now. My time spent with God is pretty much nonexistent - it sure hasn't been a priority. I do have long fingernails finally...but I'm only using them to pick at the zits on my face.
Okay...rant is over!
I'll leave you with a few happy pictures.....
17 comments:
I'm not the best at advice, and I only have the one kid, but Leslie, you are a great mom. To make it through the DAY and survive with three young kids means you're doing a superior job. I couldn't do what you're doing, and neither could most people. Chin up. I've seen you with your girls - they're all so smart and independent. No one could be a better mother!
praying for you friend
i highly recommend the book the Papa Prayer. It is easy and quick to read and is a lot about just letting your prayer be telling God where you are in that moment. It has pushed me through many ruts.
what you need is a good dose of kiser train. come see us!!! or we could do an alias marathon if you need 48 hours away????
I don't have a quick fix. I think I know how your heart physically feels, even though I don't share your situation in life. I know the helpless and frustrated hurt. It blows.
Here is what I do have:
-All the seasons of Grey's
-Peanut M&M's and Hot Tamales(i know you think you're gaining weight, but you're not...PLUS, big girls are better.Trust. That is if you want advice from an emotional eater...who doesn't??)
-Acne Treatment Gel by Mary Kay (this will KILL your zits)
-LOTS of lipgloss, it can make anything better.
-Nine thousand (maybe not) colors of nail polish to paint those beautiful nails!
-A pile of mindless magazines
-FREE TIME until Monday, which can def. be used to hang out or babysit the girlies if you need some time w/ James or time alone!
-A big hug
-Prayers, doi.
Love you so, precious friend. You have helped pull me out of many a funk, and I'll do whatever I can to return the fave. ;-)
Hang in there, Leslie. This phase will pass.
I can't think of anyone at this moment I'd rather have involved in my kid's life as a huddle leader than you. Your honesty is refreshing. If you need a pool, get on over here. We'll throw the two little ones in a float and let Kaitlin swim to her heart's content. We can get Jordan over here to help. She'd love it. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that this, too, shall pass - until then - know that you are loved.
First of all, your 3 girls are so beautiful, it's not even funny. Secondly, give yourself some grace because you deserve it! The fact that you wake up every morning and raise 3 girls continuously blows me away, since I can barely drag myself out of bed for 1. We love you guys and are praying for you all during this chapter....it WILL pass.
P.S: My mom says I was a biter too, so I feel like Cora is my kindred spirit :).
Please disregard the Cora biting comment....I think I must have dreamed that you said that, because I just re-read your post and you didn't mention it at all. I am seriously losing my mind....
My daughter,
I was touched by your note of dispair and restlessness. As your father in law, I would tell you it is normal to have the feelings you described and if I could help make them go away I would---I can't, life will over time, they are normal. So, just understand them sweetheart. My comments are mean't to sooth, but may not make you happy and may make you a little sad, but they are normal. The good thing is that these feelings will too pass and will seem minor in time. I have attached a message I once listened to that accentuates my message, but reiterates the normalcy of your emotions. Listen to it alone and uniterrupted (8 minutes). And let James listen to it too. Love Dad Mayo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ
Precious Leslie,
Email me, if you would, just so that I don't share my thoughts on being the mother of three small children with the rest of the world....
gingeretpaty@yahoo.com
YOU are an amazing mama.
Love,
ginger p
Leslie,
I won't even pretend to understand what you are going through, but I do know that just the fact that you are able to get up day in and day out, much less get everyone dressed, diapered, and fed is a testament to what a great mom you are! And as evidenced in your bright, fun, precious girls, you do so much more that that. Hang in there, and if you need an extra hand, I have two!
Hang in there! Being the mom of a 17 month old is a huge job all by itself. So I can only imagine adding in all the other stuff. I'll be praying for some "easy" fun-filled summer days to be just around the corner for you guys.
Hey Leslie~
It was good to see you at church on Sunday. Don't be a stranger shoot me an email and we can catch up. ajrnd16@yahoo.com!!!!
Later~
Amanda Reeves
Leslie- This is Erin- Amanda T's sister. I jsut want you to know that you are SOOOO not alone. I can not tell you how many times I have uttered almost identical thoughts recently. (Although my kdis are older than yours!) I think, as moms, we just go through phases where being a mom is amazing/wonderful/ wouldn't trade it for the world...to..exhausting/ what were we thinking/ no wonder people do drugs. Hang in there, sister. Know that it WILL pass. And in the meantime, do what you have to do to get through it. Pray..a lot. Get a sitter. Take up some of these people who have commented and said they'll help. And know that there are people praying. I know because I am one of them...I'm praying for you right now! Love, Erin L.
Sweet friend,
Each time I have seen you over the past few weeks the girls are smiling and just precious. You are each dressed and arrive on time. That is more than I could say if I were in your shoes:) I am going to say this just because I need to remember it myself most days...remember to be thankful for the little things you accomplish in a day and a five second prayer counts just as much as a ten minute one as long as it is from your heart. I love you friend and admire you more than you know:)
Leslie- So weird that I was thinking that you had it all together and then I read this. Glad to know you are normal like the rest of us. Get something breakable and throw it, take a deep breath, tell James to clean it up and then slip into a hot bubble bath. Later slip James a $20 for the janitorial service and tell him not to spend it all at once. If you need some comic relief, Hayley and I can call you three-way!
Leslie... am way behind at reading your blog. Sorry!
First, let me say a big thank you for keepin' it real. It is too easy in this little blog world, and in the big real world too, to wear the mask and never be REAL about what we are living/feeling. I admire you for being willing to put it out there, to take down the mask, and share what was on your heart.
I have no advice, friend! I am SO FAR from having it all together that I could use a whole heap of advice about it myself, so I am certainly not going to be providing profound answers anytime soon.
What I do know is this...you have chosen a most admirable profession as wife/helpmeet/mother. The Lord chose YOU to tell those girls about Him, and He chose you to be the bride of James...BOTH of which you are doing so well! One day at a time, one minute at a time...that is what I tell myself.
And if you have any good advice for me on how to get my act together, I welcome it. Goodness knows I have a long way to go before I am where I need to be with this whole wife/helpmeet/mommy thing! I can use all of the help I can get! :)
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